Triumph

Parenting:

Moments of hope and despair

Moments of triumph and defeat

Moments of dependence and independence

Moments to love, hug, laugh, cry, do over, pick up, plan, be

Moments to take your breath away

Last week I received a note from my twenty year old daughter who has spent the last sixteen months in New York. She’s my spunky middle child who is so much like me that when she was little we’d butt heads. She was also the only child, out of all five who were home schooled, to never go to any form of public school. Home schooling adds another dimension to the parenting equation – another worry, another reason to say “I really can’t blow this”, and another element where as a parent I would have to step back and let them sink or swim on their own.  As most parents do I tried to teach her the value of work, play, compassion, respect (for herself, others, the environment), things of God, and things of learning- math, reading, history, science and such.

Then I got her note which says, “Thank you for helping me know how to be myself and be happy with being ME (something I have found to be a rare attribute to have). I love my life so much!”

Though it wasn't intentional in the midst of 1+1=2 and ABCs and "say your prayers" and "take out the trash" she learned one of life’s most important lessons.

There is no formula for parenting. It’s a mix of being present, encouraging, allowing freedom within safe boundaries, giving a helping hand when the fall is too big, and cheering, hugging, and letting go.

What is a moment of triumph you have experienced as a parent? 

Exquisite Sadness of Life

The phrase ‘the exquisite sadness of life’ keeps running through my head today. One of Webster’s definitions of exquisite is ‘marked by deep sensitivity’.  Today we buried a neighbor, teacher, brother in Christ; tomorrow we bury another such soul. Two good men doing the right things: being fantastic husbands, awesome fathers, exemplary brothers, and so much more. Though our lives touched each others lightly it was a touch that with each encounter was leaving a lasting impression. This exquisite sadness- a feeling of deep sensitivity comes from the ability to also experience exquisite joy, exquisite contentment, exquisite passion because without the descending into the ‘valley of shadow’ one cannot stand on the mountain at sunrise and see all the beauty of creation. Without those moments that cut and cause tears to flow and flow, one cannot roll on the floor, clutching the belly and laughing. Life and all its many forms is a creature to be cherished, not locked in a gilded cage and kept safe (for there is no sure path), but to be grabbed hold of and lived to its fullest. For now, and for many days to come, I will ‘mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort’.  We will all breathe in and breathe out each moment rolling into the next as we live a life exquisite.

Look to the Possiblities

Recently, several challenges have presented themselves to Mr. W and I. Dealing with all this “stuff” can be daunting. These aren’t issues we are taking lightly, we’ve talked of them, prayed about them, meditated over the course to take and we can’t, at this moment, see a clear way through but I have hope solutions will be reached.